Друзья, предоставляю вашему вниманию свою исследовательскую работу на тему "Взрослые Дети Алкоголиков". Выставляю ее здесь в качестве причины отсутствия в блоге на протяжении нескольких недель - вот почему я отсутствовала - писала исследовательскую работу! Кроме того, тема важная. Я перелопатила достаточно литературы и должна сказать, что не так много об этом пишут. Это мой скромный вклад в развитие этой области психологии. Статья на английском. Те из вас, кто знаком с языком, возможно решат ознакомиться с данным предметом. Для русско-говорящих граждан, берусь сделать перевод статьи, только если поступят заявки. Заинтересовало? Пишите.
Children who grew up in families with alcohol abuse often face several stressors. When combined together they form a traumatic experience for each family member
and especially for children who grow up in an alcoholic's household. Some experts equate
such experience to the post-traumatic stress disorder syndrome of Vietnam war
veterans (R.E. Gilbert 2008) Current approximate statistic in USA shows that
seventeen million families cope with effects of “heavy drinking” (P. M. Vernig
2011). The purpose of this paper is to examine possible impacts of parental
alcoholism on child’s development as well as his/her adult life; and to see if
there is a certain pattern that Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs) have in
their lives or certain features that are common for them; and how parental
alcoholism shapes ACOAs’ identity.
According to
Cathy Hall and Raymond Webster (2007) “while not all ACOAs experience problems,
studies have shown that ACOAs often do show an increased vulnerability to life
stressors and report more symptoms of adjustment difficulties” (p.425).
Researchers concluded that ACOAs experienced higher levels of self-reported
stress and more symptoms of personal dysfunction when compared to peers with no
trauma or alcoholic childhood experience, but results did not differ
significantly when were compared to the group of peers with a different
traumatic experience. “This finding supports the idea of a commonality in
adjustment issues between ACOAs and adult children from dysfunctional homes”
(C.W. Hall & R. E. Webster, 2007, p.426).
There is evidence that multiple stressors like parental alcoholism,
divorce, abuse and neglect can break down a person’s resiliency and raise
adjustment difficulties, which has a direct impact on one’s adult life. In
particular ACOAs often feel challenge in dealing with feeling of anger and
irritability that leads to “self-detrimental behavior patterns in which minor
problems, set-backs, or daily stressors can generate inappropriate angry
reactions” (C.W. Hall & R. E. Webster, 2007, p. 431). Sometimes individuals
may not be aware of these feelings. What they found was that “many ACOAs lack
an awareness of what is “normal” because growing up in an alcoholic home often
skews one’s perceptions interpretations of feelings and how they influence
behavior” (C.W. Hall & R. E. Webster 2007, p. 431).
In order to deal
with life’s many challenges ACOAs develop certain defense mechanisms – such as
thought stopping (when they refuse to think about certain things or events);
avoiding anything that awakes certain feelings and limiting the range of
emotions that they are allowed to feel and express. Overuse of some of these
behaviors can also create problems in interpersonal and social relationships by
limiting them from seeking out social support during times of distress (C.W.
Hall & R. E. Webster, 2007).
Emotional
numbing, distractibility, “spacing out” and cognitive disengagement are some
problems reported by ACOAs. They also report “a reduce sense of self and their
own ability to deal with the demands and challenges of life. Evidently, these
individuals have learned to question their own capabilities and judgments even when
they are functioning successfully” (C.W. Hall & R. E. Webster, 2007, p. 432).
Let us assume
that growing up in an alcoholic’s household is a traumatic experience, which it
is for many ACOAs, especially if parental alcoholism is combined with physical and
verbal abuse, divorce, poverty etc. Gil Noam (1996) discusses rediscovery of
biography as an essential dimension of development and concludes that any kind
of traumatic experience does not necessarily cause delay in development; rather
it leads to different paths of adaptation; people who went through some sort of
trauma adapt to their reality. “Calverly et al. [1991] concluded that traumatic
experiences are not fixated but transformed throughout development, producing
ever more complex splitting at different levels of abstractions and identity
constructions” (G. Noam, 1996).
According to D. Ruben
and his book “Treating Adult Children
of Alcoholics: A Behavioral Approach” (2001) “ACOAs have difficulty forming
trusting bonds with others and developing a sense of trust in his/her own
abilities to handle issues that cause stress” (p.34) This factor is significant
for ACOA may be because it is common for alcoholic families to keep problems in
the family and not share emotions/feeling with outsiders. Ruben (2001)
described ACOAs personality development in a very concrete way:
AOCA personality is one of two major types: passive
and aggressive. Dichotomy of behavior is predictable. AOCAs raised under a
random, untrusting and frequently punitive environment adapt in responding in
one or two major ways. First rebellion towards that environment appears in the
form of challenging the abusing adults. Expressed anger is outwardly
aggressive, violent, or oppositional in terms of severe tantrums,
noncompliance, running away, lying, stealing, and hyperactivity. In adolescence
when verbal skills are more complex refusals and defiance intensify as the
child completely distrusts his parents and assumes total control over personal
goals and gratification. In adulthood this controlling behavior appears to be
manipulating and dominating. Ironically, partners attracted to controlling
AOCAs typically are inept or behaviorally deficient caretakers. Controlling
ACOAs have low tolerance for disruptions in rigidly planned schedules. They
also resist changes. Hostility over disruptions, however is not to evoke
conflict, which ACOA’s strive to avoid (p.12).
According to Ruben (2001) ACOAs are not able to relax, always keeping
themselves busy due to a lot of duties that they had to do in their childhood
such as babysitting their relatives, cooking and taking care of the whole
family at a very early age, etc. ACOAs are loyal (codependent) beyond reason,
are terrified of abandonment and would do anything to hold on to a
relationship; they are also overly responsible, taking far more
responsibilities than the adult can handle.
“Ronald Reagan’s Presidency: The Impact of an Alcoholic Parent” written
by Robert E. Gilbert (2008) demonstrates an example of characteristics of AOCA
given by Ruben. R. Gilbert describes the character of Ronald Reagan based on
the fact that he had an alcoholic father:
Ronald Reagan enjoyed a successful political career.
Nevertheless, his political life was affected dramatically by the fact that he
was the son of an alcoholic parent. Alcoholic parents leave deep marks on their
children’s lives, even after those children become adults. As president of the
United States, Reagan clearly demonstrated these marks. He was aloof and
distant, was often a disengaged leader, showed inordinate loyalty to associates
even when such loyalty became problematic, was prone to live in a world of
make-believe; married compulsive women, and craved approval and applause. Each
of these behavioral characteristics was part of the psychological legacy left
to his president by his long-dead alcoholic father. Some of them damaged his
presidency greatly; others, however, may well have assisted it (p. 737).
Gilbert believes that the effect of parental alcoholism on their
children’s life is profound. He thinks that ACOAs can be described as
“population at risk”. He suggests that there are a few common features or
characteristics for most ACOAs: “difficulty with intimate relationships”,
emotional detachment and isolation, reliability issues, loyalty beyond
measures; they are extremely adaptive – “survivors”; and finally they become
alcoholics themselves.
To argue Gilbert’s last point about increased risk of adopting alcoholism
by ACOAs, let us look at the following research. Nicholas G. Martin
investigated the subject of the environmental effect of parental alcoholism on
offspring alcohol use disorder (2008). The results of his study suggest that “the
direct causal effect of being exposed to an alcoholic parent on offspring
alcohol usage disorder is modest at best” (p.534). It means that children who
grow up in families exposed to alcohol dependence are not necessarily at risk
of becoming alcoholics like their parents. Thus in this study there was no
evidence for genetic influence in the inter-generational transmission of
alcoholism.
“Recent research on the interactions among genes, social environmental
factors, and history has shown how obsolete the old nature vs. nurture distinction
has become” (A. Sroufe & D. Siegel, 2011, p. 39). Biological psychologist
Stiphen Suomi who worked with monkeys showed that “two genetic variations that
have been associated with alcohol abuse or impulsiveness in humans are linked
to totally different outcomes when the infant monkeys are reared by a group of
highly nurturing foster mothers rather than by their birth mothers” (A. Sroufe
& D. Siegel, 2011, p.39). This study proves that alcoholism is not genetic
but an adoptive outcome.
A. Bandura argued that most of what we learn is through imitation. According
to Bandura’s theory we acquire considerable information just by observing
models, mentally coding what we see (W. Crain, 2005, p. 197). Thus we learn by
observing the behaviors of others. Children observe their parents as models and
act accordingly. Due to this theory the assumption is that a girl who grew up
in an alcoholic’s household and observed her mother dealing with her often
drunk father has a potential to be an alcoholic’s wife herself, as she formed a
family model accordingly. However the fact is that besides primary caretakers
there are other adults in child’s life who also play modeling roles for
him/her. There is also abstract modeling, when children induce certain rules of
behavior and use them to generate entirely new behaviors on their own, which seems
to provide additional proof that ACOAs are not programmed to become alcoholics
as their parents.
According to
Peter M. Vernig and his article called “Family Roles in Homes With
Alcohol-Dependent Parents: An Evidence-Based Review” where “alcohol dependence
is described as a “family disease” in which the other members of the family not
only experience the effects but also play an active role (however unknowingly)
in supporting this pattern of maladaptive behavior” (2011, p. 535). There are
five well defined and generally no overlapping roles in which family members
fall: enabler, hero, lost child, mascot and scapegoat. Within a family without
alcohol abuse members take on some roles as well, they can be: provider,
caregiver, disciplinarian, etc. Roles in alcoholic families are much different
because members’ responsibilities are shifted, they are more rigid and
problematic, when for example a child plays a role of a caretaker for his/her
siblings or even for his/her parent. Theoretically speaking there is a
suggestion that when adopting one of earlier mentioned roles a child is at risk
of making that role a stable and inflexible part of his/her personality, which
will affect his/her adult life. There is evidence that for ACOAs’ “emotional
and interpersonal problems later in life are a common result of continued
attempts to play the same role that they became used to in childhood and
adolescence” (P. M. Vernig, 2011, p.535). They consider misuse of alcohol or
other drugs by ACOAs to be evidence of this model.
Let us have a closer
look at these roles. Enabler is usually the alcoholic’s spouse, who seem to be
doing everything in his/her power to stop the spouse’s drinking but at the same
time the enabler constantly accepts additional responsibilities (making excuses
for employees, driving his/her drunk spouse around, etc.) that slows down
alcoholic’s desire to change. Enabler reinforces other family members to play
their own roles, to prevent public shame. Enablers often adopt such behaviors
from their own parents. Enabler usually devotes minimum time to his/her own
needs and interests, as he/she spends most of his/her time protecting and
caring for someone else.
The Family Hero
(TFH) is role of the oldest child, who is responsible for the family well-being
early on. TFH is often highly accomplished in arenas that are valued by the
rest of the family. TFH leaves family early to pursue a career or school but is
always ready to come back and rescue the family. TFH is not motivated by
his/her own needs and succeeds in areas defined for him/her by others. TFH may
often feel overwhelmed, thinking that the entire family depends on him/her; it
is also common for TFH to neglect his/her own self-care and relationships.
The Lost Child (TLC) is someone whose needs
are ignored by the whole family. TLC develops his/her separate world from the
whole family, a fantasy – often through reading or television. When at home
he/she is often withdrawn and others seem to reinforce such behavior – they are
too busy in dealing with their own roles. TLC’s main characteristics are
loneliness and sadness; due to which TLC often fails to develop good
relationships with peers – a problem that can extend into adulthood. As adult
TLC tends to keep separation from his/her family as he/she learned to do so in
childhood.
The Mascot is
commonly the youngest child, the distracter from the problems within the
family. It is normally his/her job to be funny, cute, outgoing – “life of the
party”. Even though everybody in the family seems to like him/her, they do not take
him/her seriously and possibly have low expectations for his/her intellectual
abilities. The family is protecting the mascot by hiding information from
him/her, but according to family role theorists mascot is often aware of the
problems and he/she purposefully engages in this role as a means of relieving
tension and lightening the mood. As an adult, the mascot is expected to have
trouble coping with problems directly, having always resorted to behavioral
disengagement.
The Scapegoat is
often in trouble, having difficulties in school, legal problems and other
maladaptive behaviors – all that to draw attention from the turmoil elsewhere
in the family. The scapegoats are likely to use drugs and alcohol themselves.
All his/her accomplishments are minimized in defense of other siblings. The
scapegoat is most likely to be the next child after the hero. The scapegoat is
often the one to blame for all family problems, which makes him/her learn that
he/she can never succeed in the eyes of the family, that uses the scapegoat as
a distraction. The scapegoat usually feels out of control, he/she has a
tendency to experience anger. The effects of these patterns of behavior often
lead to legal problems, poor academic and vocational performance, and drug and
alcohol use.
One quality is worth looking at is the
resilience. “Resilience determines a child’s ability to deal with the
inevitable stresses and setbacks of life” (A. Sroufe & D. Siegel, 2011,
p.38). According to Ann S. Masten
(2001) resilience refers to a class of phenomena characterized by good outcomes
in spite of serious threats to adaptation or development. Parental alcoholism,
which is often combined with verbal and physical abuse, becomes a serious
threat to a child’s development. Masten claims that such children become
invulnerable or invincible. As resilient individuals grow older, they have
better cognitive test scores, more positive self-perceptions, and greater
consciousness than their maladaptive peers. The competent of the resilient
children continues into adulthood. Contradictory to Masten, A. Sroufe & D.
Siegel (2011) state that resilience is a quality of children with a history of
secure attachment, such children are less vulnerable to stress and better able
to take advantage of opportunities to grow. The question is: are ACOAs able to
form a secure attachment? A. Sroufe & D. Siegel (2011) think that it is
possible to form a secure state of mind as an adult, even in case of difficult
childhood; child’s early experiences influence later development, but it is not
set in stoned: therapeutic experiences (counseling, other healthy
relationships, travelling, meditation, etc.) can profoundly alter an
individual’s life course. There is always hope for a better outcome in the
future. To be a good therapist one has to believe in it.
“Bowlby viewed
development in terms of pathways, wherein change is always possible, but is
constrained by paths previously taken” (A. Sroufe & D. Siegel, 2011, p.39)
In other words if a person had a difficult childhood that contained parental
alcoholism, it will influence his/her development but the change is possible
due to human ability to adopt to difficulties. Bowlby’s theory states that
relationships provide the foundation for child’s development and support
child’s abilities for emotional regulations and the formation of mental
representation of self and others; but such behaviors are subject to change.
“If others are supportive, despite off-putting behavior, a child’s worldview
and behavior may change. Further, early experience isn’t erased, but retains
its potential to impact later developmental stages” (A. Sroufe & D. Siegel,
2011, p.39).
Family, with its pleasures, rewards,
challenges and problems, is only one aspect of a child’s development. Besides
family in which a child grows up, his/her development is affected by many other
aspects or systems like U. Bronfenbrenner (1995) called them. He “proposed an
ecological systems model of the lifelong progressive accommodations individuals
make to the changing environments in which they develop” (M. Keegan, 2001, p.
256). He suggested that besides the microsystem (which contains a child’s
family in as the immediate environment), a child is affected by mesosystem
(interactions between two or more microsystems: for example family and school
or family and church); exosystem (a system consisting of connection between two
or more settings, but only one of them contains the developing person: for
example the home and parent’s work place); macrosystem (broader culture and
socioeconomic environment: for example customs or cultural believes); and
chronosystem (changes over the life time of the developing person: historical
events or social conditions occurring within the environment). In other words
child’s development appears to be as a set of “nested structures”, where
parental alcoholism (as part of the child’s microsystem) can be very
influential, but it is not the only important aspect of a child’s development.
Although he/she is growing up in an alcoholic’s household he/she is also
influenced by his/her other relatives, teachers, peers, friends, culture,
television, books, historical events, etc.
When it comes to
estimation of what aspect of human’s development is more important than the
other, the only realistic conclusion that comes to mind is that it is all very
individual. And thinking that “it all comes from family” is not for everybody. For
example Alex Wilson, the author of “How We Find Ourselves: Identity Development
and Two-Spirit People” (1996) had a very loving, accepting and supportive
family - simply a dream family, who acknowledged and accepted her without
interference. In her article we see that the fact that she had a great family
did not stop her from struggling to find her own identity and other
developmental milestones. A few hurtful words said by her peer affected Alex in
such a deep way that even her loving family could not ease the pain for her; which
to me is an additional proof that besides with whom we grow up with (even if
it’s in an alcoholic’s household) there are so many other people and settings
which affect the formation of our identity.
When dealing
with ACOAs in therapy one should be well aware of how traumatic a childhood could
be for them; but the therapist should also stay hopeful that although the past
cannot be changed but the future is in our patients’ hands and it is our job to
help them to discover that. This investigation demonstrated how challenging
life of ACOAs can be, but it also showed how change is always possible. When
focusing on negative outcomes life becomes negative, when shifting our
attention to positive outcomes of a dramatic childhood, life itself creates a
completely different meaning.
When beginning
to write this paper my assumption was that parental alcoholism has a major
influence on ACOAs' development. By the end of writing this paper I realized
once again that every cloud has a silver lining. We all have difficult moments in our lives; we all have milestones
and roadblocks. What is different about each and every one of us is the way we
react to these challenges. Do we meet them with a smile and open heart, hoping
to learn a valuable lesson from each milestone? Or do we try to hide from them,
hoping that it’ll too pass? It is all in our heads and it is up to us to come
up with our own paths.
Маша Марки.
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